Getting Pudgy!

During the last 2 months I have given myself some latitude with respect to diet. I worked very hard winter before last winter to shed a few pounds, and was so proud of self for having been successful in losing 20+ pounds. The process began because of a cholesterol issue. Some might remember the "Three Month Challenge" postings. Well.....I did lose the weight, but never went back to the doctor to get my cholesterol rechecked - UNTIL - just before my 'quit smoking date'. (By that time I had been on holiday to Alaska and had really really fallen off the diet) Unfortunately, the news was not good.... I made a 'deal' with the Doc.... When I told him that I was going to quit smoking, and needed just a little time to 'get things under control' - he agreed that he would wait for awhile before putting me on the cholesterol reducing drugs. He did, however, make the comment that he would not give me an 'infinite amout of time'...... (So whoever said that a doctor should have that much power over your life????) Craaapppp - stepped on the scale the other night - not a pleasant surprise!!!! Soooo.....I guess it is time now to 'shift gears' and change direction. Ya know - the thought has just struck me...... There is a quote - don't know who said it - "you spend the first 40 years of your life accumulating 'things' and then you spend the last 40 years trying to get rid of those 'things'. Welllll.....I guess the same could be said that we spend the first (60???) years of our lives developing bad habits, and then you spend the next (_____) years breaking those habits. (fill in the blank depending on how extreme those habits are (tee hee). I guess what I am saying is that now is the time to terminate the 'diet' latitude that I have been giving self and get real! No more chicken/turkey skin - no more pork rind - no more bacon (well maybe a little)- ration the eggs - no more processed meat - cut the sweets and sugar - start counting calories - all in all stop enjoying food! What do they say - 'Eat to live - not live to eat...' Wish me luck!

I forgot!

A couple of days ago, a coworker approached me and asked 'What are you going to buy yourself on the 18th?" For a brief moment, I was confused by her question. Why would I want to buy myself something on the 18th? It then struck me that she was (bless her heart) remembering that the 18th of April will be the 2-month anniversary of my 'quit date'. "You must continue to treat yourself" she continued.... I awkwardly responded that I was actually going to a concert this weekend - although in all honesty this was not intended to be a 'treat to self' - just a lucky draw - so to speak. I have since thought about that brief moment of conversation with my coworker. Perhaps the greatest 'treat to self' was the realization that at that moment in time I was not thinking about SMOKING!. How sweet it is to realize that these moments now exist! While the struggle continues (and I expect it will continue for the rest of my life), I am so pleased that for a few moments in time that I FORGOT that I want to smoke!

A New Friend

Last night I was going to add a post to this blog, but my internet service was down. So I thought I would just watch a little TV and forget about it. Oh Oh - TV signal lost too. Well - time to contact Telus! Really not something that I wanted to do after a long day, but obviously an issue that needed to be dealt with. With much trepidation, I dialed the 'help' line. Will I get someone on the line from a far and distant land who I cannot understand, and who cannot understand me? Will this be just another frustration at the end of my day? Should I even bother with it tonight? Should I just forget about it, pick up a book and be done with it for now? No, I need to deal with this now...... Surprisingly, there was not a long time on hold before I got a very pleasant young fellow on the line. I could understand him when he spoke!!!! There were, of course, many things that he asked me to check. Took a little time. Then it became apparent to him that we needed to 'reboot' the modem and the TV boxes. There was considerable waiting time for everything to come back up after rebooting. You just cannot be on the phone and say nothing, so I thought I would start a conversation. "Where are you?", I asked him. "The Phillipines", he responded! We talked a little about the weather, and those impersonal things. I then made the comment that I was going to make a post on my blog, but could not because my internet was down. "You have a blog!', he said. I responded, "Yes - I have recently quit smoking, and I started the blog as an avenue to vent, and perhaps help others in some small way". Well......this turned the conversation. Turned out that he is a smoker, and sooo wants to quit. He is 40 years old, and the only one left in his family that smokes. (They make him go outside - he said) He does not like to do that when it is raining. I shared with him my experience of going outside when it is very very cold to smoke. We talked about the inconvience of being a smoker, and also the expense. He did some quick money conversion and figured out that his cost for a package of 20 'sticks' is $20 Canadian! He then began quizing me about how I have gone about the process of quitting. I shared with him my 'pre-quit' process, the 'post-quit' process, the 'continuing' process, and the support I have gotten of the QuitNet website, as well as the support and encouragement from friends and co-workers. I was on the phone with him for about 1 1/2 hours while all the electronics were 'doing their thing'. When we were certain that indeed the internet and TV signals were restored I thanked him for his help. Get this - his response - "I am the one who was helped here". I was sooo touched by his comment, that I almost started to weep! Oh, if only it would be that I motivated him to start the process of freeing himself from the 'Nicodemon' then it was truly a good day! Ya know what is said "there is a reason for all things"? Perhaps there was a reason that I 'lost my signal' yesterday. Perhaps there was a reason that of all the people that Telus employs, it was this fellow in the Phillipines I got connected to.

Rebirth

It is spring - the time of the year when the miracle of rebirth occures. The robins return, the crocuses bloom, the tulips pop up, tiny shoots poke their heads up from underground - promising wonderous things to come. Buds begin to form on the trees. There is an excitement in the air. It is a busy time. Birds are frantically searching for mates. Soon the nest building will begin. And soon there will be eggs in those nests, then birth of new life. 2 years ago I gave my neigbour a few sweet pea seeds from my garden. He planted them last year around his deck and got just a few plants from those seeds. He harvested the seeds from those few plants last fall, and now has plans of growing a whole row of Sweet Peas this year. Life - in any form - multiplies many fold! What a gift! It has been said that the only things certain in this life is death and taxes. Could we add to this list glorious, beautiful, forgiving, resurrecting spring??? There is conflict and strife during this season. Competition amongst the species - males trying to prove their superiority, and females making the assessment as to which male has the most favorable gene to pass on to their offsrping. This is the spring of my new life as a non-smoker. During the first few weeks, there was an excitement - a promise of things to come. A freedom from the 'nicodemon' If I might take the liberty to equate this personal experience to what is happening around me in the natural world - well perhaps I am now at the stage of conflict and strife. There is a promise of wonderous things to come - being at ease with being a non-smoker - and looking forward to the multiplication of the benefits of being a non-smoker. There is right now certainly a competition between myself and the 'nicodemon'. Thus far 'self' has prevailed. I look forward to the day that I can truly feel REBORN and emerge from this 'holy hell' free from the daily struggle. Just as a 'side-note' I am finding that when I take a 4mg nicotene lozenge, I get the hiccups! This must be a good sign! My quit buddy Charlie told me that he is now cutting these things in half. I will try that until I run out of them and then perhaps try the lower doseage ones.